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Friday, October 28, 2011 I hate the fact that I still love you though I know you're not coming back. Those words just keep on flashing in my mind. Fuck myself for being like that. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't love you. Because I'm just a burden to you. But I still do. A lot. I'm sorry.
FUCK INSOMNIA,
FUCK EXAMS, FUCK MY LIFE. Friday, October 14, 2011 Till now, I'm still confused. I had a dream last night. I wonder if you remember. The day we were still together. The day I wanted to pass you my ipod. You walked away, yet I went to chase you. You were downstairs. When I saw you, I ran towards you and gave you a hug. You didn't know how afraid I was if you left. Passing you my ipod isn't the point. I hate to see you walk away. Because I'm afraid you'll never come back. I woke up crying. I can't help it when I don't see your good morning texts. Whenever I can hug you, I'll hold you really tight. You told me that you really love me a few times. If you really loved me, you will never leave.
If we're fated, we'll meet again. If I could rewind time, I will still choose to be with you. Even though everything's over now. I've never regretted knowing you. Tuesday, October 11, 2011 We've went through so much shit. 3 days, 5 days without contact. 1 week, 2 weeks, without meet ups. We did it. We could. But now, I don't know what happened. Thought you'll be motivating me at this period of time. Thought I can be the one who'll follow you through your ns life. Yeah, I was just thinking too much I guess. I wonder how are you. I wonder if you're doing fine now. I wonder if you miss me. I wonder if you remember how happy we were together. I wonder if you know how deep I love you. I wonder if you realise that I meant every word I said before you left. I wonder, if you still love me. Though you insisted that you don't, anymore..
Monday, October 10, 2011 I believe that true love never dies. Ours didn't die, I guess it wasn't true. Why am I still thinking. I know I'm supposed to be positive. Nah, I've given up. But I'm still thinking. Why did you leave scars behind before you left. When I needed you so badly, you told me "we are nothing." I don't understand. Have we always been nothing? I don't know. You must be enjoying yourself right now. Having lots of fun with everyone. Now I get it, I'm no better than your ex. I loved so much, so I fell so hard. I doubt you'll even come to this site anymore. It hurts so much inside.
I am nobody, I have nothing. Saturday, October 8, 2011 I've figured out the reasons since you didn't wanna tell. 1) I can't behave myself in the public. 2) I have attitude problems. 3) I don't listen to you, sometimes. 4) I get pissed off when you don't reply fast. 5) I don't even know how to make a proper cake. 6) I don't have a great mum. 7) I don't treat my dad well. 8) I don't tell you everything. 9) I'm an ugly bitch. 10) I don't like to make the first move. Conclusion: I have too many flaws. Well, at least I know I did my best. I spent a lot of time and effort on the hearts and the card. I guess I did, but I don't think it's appreciated much. To think back, I don't know why I'm so silly to do something that you'll throw away. Yea, all my efforts are gone. I studied hard for you, so that you won't feel disappointed. So that I can get into culinary, and make you a proper meal at least. I thought I could, but I guess I was thinking too far. Thinking of making a family with someone at this age, is really too early. I just didn't wanna follow my mother's footstep. I wanna be a good wife and a good mother. I thought I could be, but I guess I shouldn't think of this yet. Can't help it, I guess I'm just the one who thinks too positively. The one who thinks that fights will make us stronger. Didn't know you'll give up so easily. I guess we're just not meant to be. Though I kept on asking you to stay, you still chose to leave. You told me so much hurting words. I valued you more than my ego and apologised a thousand times. Yet you gave me those kind of replies. Thinking of that, I guess I should just let you go. Don't know if you'll read this but. Just hope that you'll find your right girl. The perfect girl of your choice. A girl who's better than me. All the best for everything. Lastly, I hope we're still friends at least.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011 To you, I may be lying to myself. Yeah, but I don't lie to my heart. Unlike you.
To me, there isn't any once and for all. You think I'll break down for once and forget. No, I won't. Not gonna get tired of breaking down daily. Not gonna get tired of waiting. Not gonna think it's just a waste of time. Saturday, October 1, 2011 I'm such a failure.
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SINNI-MA CINEMA. I heart Taeyang. ♥ BUT I heart my Ahboy more. ♥♥♥♥♥  The awesome ones. Netnet Nick Weimei Weiting Past. November 2010 December 2010 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 |